How to help your child develop self-confidence

Author: Gool Bugwadia

Children, who feel good about themselves, are naturally inclined to be self-confident. It is the parents who play a major role in shaping their children’s attitude, feelings and behavior. It is they who can help develop their child’s self confidence; it is they who can adopt a positive approach and consistently guide their child through all the stages of development.

Parents in the 21st century are well aware that self-confidence is a vital tool in attaining success in every field of human endeavor. Although parents want their children to succeed in life, many parents, who are quick to shower selfless love on their children, somehow fail to provide their child with the most important basic tool- – - namely preparing their child to be “responsible.” It is these irresponsible children who are bereft of self-confidence.  Simply loving a child does not suffice.  So what can parents do to help their child in the right direction?

Here are THREE effective tips parents can use to develop their child’s self-confidence:

1 ~ Motivate your child to be responsible

Research studies have repeatedly indicated that responsible children are found to be better-adjusted and have a remarkably higher level of self-confidence than their insecure counterparts.  Thanks to their parent’s insights, these children have acquired the right tools in their early years;  it is their parents who have motivated them to take full responsibility in all aspects of their lives.

Parents, who habitually encourage independence, allow children to make their own decisions, solve their own problems and bear consequences of their behavior and actions, seldom fail. These are the children who become responsible and consequently develop self-confidence.

2 ~ Develop your child’s self-image

Harboring a positive approach to parenting helps to develop your child’s self-image. How a child thinks and feels about himself/herself is critical to the development of one’s self-confidence. Parents, who take time and interest to recognize and praise their child’s strengths, can easily make their child feel capable and good about himself/herself; it is this positive approach that can ultimately develop your child’s self-image and self-confidence.

It has been ascertained that the common mistake most parents make is to focus on what their child cannot do rather than what he/she can do. This parental attitude is a blow to their child’s self-esteem. Yes, you can discreetly point out your child’s limitations or failings to help him/her rectify the problem; but under no circumstances, should you repeatedly din this negative aspect into your child’s head.

3 ~ Guide your child by setting firm limits

Setting firm limits to your child’s behavior is another critical tool for building a child’s self confidence. This technique acts as a safety net to prevent the child from landing into dangerous situations. Allowing your child to make important decisions pertaining to varied aspects of his/her life, can infuse him/her with self-confidence- – -especially when the decisions made contribute to the child’s betterment.

Offering the child choices within safe limits, could make him/her feel confident in choosing a particular line of action. It could go a long way in making him/her feel important and boost the child’s confidence dramatically.

~ Conclusion

Wise parents would make every effort to bestow on their child one of the finest gifts parents can give to their child- – -the gift of self-confidence. Parents who have been encouraging all along and who have been consistently following the above three simple tips, would most certainly have played an important role in successfully shaping their child’s life.

Sources: Practical Wisdom for Parents by Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum

Be a Parent, Not a Pushover by MaryAnn Rosenthal, PhD.

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  1. Rushad said on October 19th at 3:22 am:

    Beautiful article.

    Self confidence – is a powerful weapon that can never be bought – but only with a parent’s love and firm care – can it be sold.

  2. Carol Gioia said on October 19th at 4:41 pm:

    Such good advice for parents wishing to enhance their child’s level of self-confidence.

    This is a fine piece of writing, rampant with valuable insights.

  3. Nancy Browne said on October 20th at 1:45 pm:

    Dear Gool,

    This was a wonderful constructed article, with good, sound advice.
    What an important factor, you mention here:
    Offering the child choices within safe limits, could make him/her feel confident in choosing a particular line of action. It could go a long way in making him/her feel important and boost the child’s confidence dramatically.

    A very good article for all parents to read, very informative , with solid advice! Well written.

  4. Rashna said on October 22nd at 5:41 pm:

    This is a wonderful, insightful article with great advice for all parents and caregivers. You are right, parents play a big role in developing their child’s self image and building their self confidence.

  5. Zeynep said on May 28th at 7:21 pm:

    Very informative article! I would also recommend you to read another article on the same subject “help your kids develop their self confidence” at

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